dream machine

"come right up!"

the man in the cherry-colored suit that was ill-fitting on his full frame clapped two large hands together, his face creased and lined from years of smiles and laughter...the two bushy eyebrows wiggled over brown eyes so dark they appeared almost black...bits of spittle sprayed from his mouth as he called out to the few passers-by that lingered in the rain...the years had not been kind to the cherry suit that surely had once been made from the finest cloth...where cloth-covered buttons had lined along the center of the suit were now replaced by pale bone-colored circles of some unknown material...the white silk shirt was now darkened to a pale yellow and covred with many stains...yet, his smile remained unchanged after all his years with the carnival...his was a simple life and a pleasant one...he welcomed the everyday monotony for it was a welcome prediction in an otherwise topsy-turvy career...the children were always children...every town had them...they were always amazed by his Dream Machine...the would crowd aroun him...they never saw the holes in his shoes or the frayed ends of his jacket...they saw the world that he would create for them through his words...his was truly a remarkable life...

i remember as a child listening to him call out to us to see his Dream Machine...my neck ached as i peered up at him through the thick plastic lenses of my brand new baby pink glasses...the Dream Machine would make you feel like you were actually walking in a dream...it could read your thoughts and offer you the most amazing dream in the world...i took the pile of change that i had saved up and stuffed in my faded denim pockets...

the colored metal pieces clicked against one another as i counted out the fare into his outstretched hands...

i stepped into the dark box that was the opening, the door had long ago been ripped off its hinges...at first i saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing...a swirl of lights blinded me...a burst of cold air nearly swept me off my feet...the floor moved beneath my feet and i fell forward and sideways...i retched, the sounds of my spewing splattering on the floor and my feet...

when the world finally stopped moving i was quiet and calm...i had no expectations...what dreams would this amazing machine show me?...

but all that happened was a dim overhead light flashing above my head lighting up the way to a door marked EXIT...

as i walked home with my puke-scented sneakers i thought about my experience in the Dream Machine...perhaps it had worked...and my walk home and life ever after would be the dream...

or perhaps it was just an old man with a rotating floor and flashing lights...

sometimes when i go to sleep i think about that Dream Machine...i close my eyes and let myself fall into the dream...the machine that keeps up the hope and belief of a different life...even now i can feel my eyelids flutter as my lashes rest against one another...slipping away into the dark abyss..

cg