it has become unequivocally apparent that we do not love our children...
we do not love them enough to put up boundaries...we do not love them enough to say "no" and mean it...we do not love them enough to force them to work hard for things...there is a distinct difference between "encourage" and "force"...
we do not hold them accountable for their actions and let them mourn the loss of their pride once in a while...
as a society, as a "village" that must bear the responsibility of where these children are headed, we underestimate the part we play as the grown-ups in their lives...we are afraid to be the grown-ups, whether we realize that or not...we rescue them from their mistakes because we do not want to "suffer the little children"...no, we take their actions upon our backs...depriving them of life lessons and the opportunities to grow...
we give them "things" so that they will not see how much we do not care for their well-being...we let them speak to adults on an "equal" level so that they will not fear authority and so that they can see how unimportant the adults are in the world...we teach them to carve their own path at the cost of everyone and anything else...we teach them that they are special and deserve every pleasure and joy...we take from them the ability to feel empathy, the ability to understand disappointment and how it can be a catalyst for growth...
we reward them for good grades and choose not to emphasize lifetime learning...we tell them they are "good" but neglect to show them how to "do" good...
we do not love our children for if we did, then they would not think it is okay to watch a young girl raped repeatedly and never ask for help...not once...we do not love our children because if we did, then they would not set someone on fire over $40 and then laugh...
nothing is wrong with our society...nothing is wrong with our world...after all, it is the world we have given to the children...
and they have made it theirs using the lessons they have learned...from us...
cg
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
societal emasculation
comfy (and aneris to a point) made an effort to emphasize the pressures women are under to be something...to do something...
in the 1980s, women saw a growing surge in women in the workforce...but it did not change the other expectations...women were praised and encouraged to be successful at work, as wives, mothers, etc...if you could not juggle it, you just could not seem to measure up...
so how have we as a society countered that?...well, we encourage women to not settle...be more sexual (the whole porn thing)...told them to take time for themselves...get a college education and pursue their goals and dreams (put themselves first instead of getting married and getting stuck in an unhappy marriage)...they were given the power to say "no" to men and sex or "yes" if they so wished...our girls were told "you can do anything"...
as a society, we actually are doing quite a bit to help empower our girls and young women...even the laws have progressed over the years to do this...no, it isnt perfect...but the fact that there is a message saying "if you arent not happy, you have the power to change yourself"...before i get comfy and aneris up in arms think of it like this: before, women were told if you arent happy, too bad, so sad, this is your life, make the best of it...have babies, make your man happy, keep a clean house...
now...they can change all that...granted, like all change, the pendulum has swung severely...however, women know that they are the ones responsible for their own happiness in life...
but here is a sad reality that in looking at women:
as much as we are doing to try and empower women we are losing our boys...i see this every day...studies show that when babies are in a room and adults are given the opportunity to visit them, the adults will gravitate more toward those infants that attired as girls...why?...do our boys not deserve the same love, affection, and guidance as our girls?...
we tell our girls that they can do anything...and we let them try out whatever they want...but if a little boy decides that a pretty dress would be fun to put on, then immediately alarms are raised and the national guard is called in...
why?...children are children...and it makes sense that if one child finds bright colors and shiny things attractive then another child would as well...
we want boys to communicate respectfully, yet we tend to become more exasperated with them than we do girls...why is this?...because we dont want to hurt the tender feelings of the fairer sex...are we telling our boys "because you are a male, you dont have the same feelings"...i think we are...
the other side is that we raise girls to be more patient in general...we will see to certain needs of boys first...girls will wait...so when these boys grow up what have we created?...men who lack patience, empathy, and the ability to feel certain things...
this is further achieved through the fact that girls tend to be more aware of rules and how things should be...again, because mentally we expect males to break the rules more often...even as children "boys will be boys"...well, i know plenty of girls who can break the rules just as easily...
whether people agree with me or not, i can truthfully say that i have seen this over the last 10 years with children...it isnt just an off-hand opinion or thought...it is something that continues to grow...and it truly does concern me...
we are emasculating our men and boys...taking away a part of them that could lead them to be strong and powerful, and not just through physical force or arrogance...
cg
in the 1980s, women saw a growing surge in women in the workforce...but it did not change the other expectations...women were praised and encouraged to be successful at work, as wives, mothers, etc...if you could not juggle it, you just could not seem to measure up...
so how have we as a society countered that?...well, we encourage women to not settle...be more sexual (the whole porn thing)...told them to take time for themselves...get a college education and pursue their goals and dreams (put themselves first instead of getting married and getting stuck in an unhappy marriage)...they were given the power to say "no" to men and sex or "yes" if they so wished...our girls were told "you can do anything"...
as a society, we actually are doing quite a bit to help empower our girls and young women...even the laws have progressed over the years to do this...no, it isnt perfect...but the fact that there is a message saying "if you arent not happy, you have the power to change yourself"...before i get comfy and aneris up in arms think of it like this: before, women were told if you arent happy, too bad, so sad, this is your life, make the best of it...have babies, make your man happy, keep a clean house...
now...they can change all that...granted, like all change, the pendulum has swung severely...however, women know that they are the ones responsible for their own happiness in life...
but here is a sad reality that in looking at women:
as much as we are doing to try and empower women we are losing our boys...i see this every day...studies show that when babies are in a room and adults are given the opportunity to visit them, the adults will gravitate more toward those infants that attired as girls...why?...do our boys not deserve the same love, affection, and guidance as our girls?...
we tell our girls that they can do anything...and we let them try out whatever they want...but if a little boy decides that a pretty dress would be fun to put on, then immediately alarms are raised and the national guard is called in...
why?...children are children...and it makes sense that if one child finds bright colors and shiny things attractive then another child would as well...
we want boys to communicate respectfully, yet we tend to become more exasperated with them than we do girls...why is this?...because we dont want to hurt the tender feelings of the fairer sex...are we telling our boys "because you are a male, you dont have the same feelings"...i think we are...
the other side is that we raise girls to be more patient in general...we will see to certain needs of boys first...girls will wait...so when these boys grow up what have we created?...men who lack patience, empathy, and the ability to feel certain things...
this is further achieved through the fact that girls tend to be more aware of rules and how things should be...again, because mentally we expect males to break the rules more often...even as children "boys will be boys"...well, i know plenty of girls who can break the rules just as easily...
whether people agree with me or not, i can truthfully say that i have seen this over the last 10 years with children...it isnt just an off-hand opinion or thought...it is something that continues to grow...and it truly does concern me...
we are emasculating our men and boys...taking away a part of them that could lead them to be strong and powerful, and not just through physical force or arrogance...
cg
Saturday, January 3, 2009
death and the american society - whack!
on my other blog, comfy brought up the issue that professional porn promotes certain figures/roles/etc through professional porn that are not necessarily the norm...
professional porn should NOT be about the norm (in reality, you can find ANYTHING you want if you look hard enough...although i think she is referring to the more mainstream)...professional porn has one purpose - to indulge in the fantasies of others...while we may adore the reality of our SO, let's be honest...everyone has something that is a fantasy that gets them off that may/may not be dissimilar from their SO...and that's okay...
anyhow, the issue is that the promotion of professional mainstream porn is killing american society...i'm not so sure about that...
porn has been around since the beginning of time and "promoted" forms have shifted a lot over the years...and it will continue to do so...the promotion of certain body types is not kiling american society...our arrogance and inability to change is doing that quite nicely enough...
we once considered ourselves at the forefront of virtually everything...we havent exactly changed the formula much...as a whole, americans just want to maintain the status quo or they mistake the acquisition of things as moving forward...it is the acquistion of "things" that have us exactly in the mess we are in right now...we want more...at any cost, it seems...
we were founded by people that learned to adapt and adjust to the environment...and for a long time that was a big part of the american dream...work hard, make adjustments, and you will go far...now we hold out our hands and say "not me" or "why me"...
the concept of sacrifice has taken on a whole new meaning nowadays...we "sacrifice" so that we can have something new and shiny..."why be you when you can be new?" (line from the movie "robots")...we sacrifice for a better life...but a life that is filled with "things" is not a better life...just a more aesthetic one...why do we not sacrifice for a more healthy life or one that is truly focused on helping others or for the future of the children yet to come?...we dont...because we value these things so much we are willing to lay someone else out on the tracks...sacrifice...
and that is what is killing american society more than the promotion of anything the porn industry could shove down our throats...besides, we always have the choice to spit or swallow...
cg
professional porn should NOT be about the norm (in reality, you can find ANYTHING you want if you look hard enough...although i think she is referring to the more mainstream)...professional porn has one purpose - to indulge in the fantasies of others...while we may adore the reality of our SO, let's be honest...everyone has something that is a fantasy that gets them off that may/may not be dissimilar from their SO...and that's okay...
anyhow, the issue is that the promotion of professional mainstream porn is killing american society...i'm not so sure about that...
porn has been around since the beginning of time and "promoted" forms have shifted a lot over the years...and it will continue to do so...the promotion of certain body types is not kiling american society...our arrogance and inability to change is doing that quite nicely enough...
we once considered ourselves at the forefront of virtually everything...we havent exactly changed the formula much...as a whole, americans just want to maintain the status quo or they mistake the acquisition of things as moving forward...it is the acquistion of "things" that have us exactly in the mess we are in right now...we want more...at any cost, it seems...
we were founded by people that learned to adapt and adjust to the environment...and for a long time that was a big part of the american dream...work hard, make adjustments, and you will go far...now we hold out our hands and say "not me" or "why me"...
the concept of sacrifice has taken on a whole new meaning nowadays...we "sacrifice" so that we can have something new and shiny..."why be you when you can be new?" (line from the movie "robots")...we sacrifice for a better life...but a life that is filled with "things" is not a better life...just a more aesthetic one...why do we not sacrifice for a more healthy life or one that is truly focused on helping others or for the future of the children yet to come?...we dont...because we value these things so much we are willing to lay someone else out on the tracks...sacrifice...
and that is what is killing american society more than the promotion of anything the porn industry could shove down our throats...besides, we always have the choice to spit or swallow...
cg
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