Sunday, January 4, 2009

societal emasculation

comfy (and aneris to a point) made an effort to emphasize the pressures women are under to be something...to do something...

in the 1980s, women saw a growing surge in women in the workforce...but it did not change the other expectations...women were praised and encouraged to be successful at work, as wives, mothers, etc...if you could not juggle it, you just could not seem to measure up...

so how have we as a society countered that?...well, we encourage women to not settle...be more sexual (the whole porn thing)...told them to take time for themselves...get a college education and pursue their goals and dreams (put themselves first instead of getting married and getting stuck in an unhappy marriage)...they were given the power to say "no" to men and sex or "yes" if they so wished...our girls were told "you can do anything"...

as a society, we actually are doing quite a bit to help empower our girls and young women...even the laws have progressed over the years to do this...no, it isnt perfect...but the fact that there is a message saying "if you arent not happy, you have the power to change yourself"...before i get comfy and aneris up in arms think of it like this: before, women were told if you arent happy, too bad, so sad, this is your life, make the best of it...have babies, make your man happy, keep a clean house...

now...they can change all that...granted, like all change, the pendulum has swung severely...however, women know that they are the ones responsible for their own happiness in life...

but here is a sad reality that in looking at women:

as much as we are doing to try and empower women we are losing our boys...i see this every day...studies show that when babies are in a room and adults are given the opportunity to visit them, the adults will gravitate more toward those infants that attired as girls...why?...do our boys not deserve the same love, affection, and guidance as our girls?...

we tell our girls that they can do anything...and we let them try out whatever they want...but if a little boy decides that a pretty dress would be fun to put on, then immediately alarms are raised and the national guard is called in...

why?...children are children...and it makes sense that if one child finds bright colors and shiny things attractive then another child would as well...

we want boys to communicate respectfully, yet we tend to become more exasperated with them than we do girls...why is this?...because we dont want to hurt the tender feelings of the fairer sex...are we telling our boys "because you are a male, you dont have the same feelings"...i think we are...

the other side is that we raise girls to be more patient in general...we will see to certain needs of boys first...girls will wait...so when these boys grow up what have we created?...men who lack patience, empathy, and the ability to feel certain things...

this is further achieved through the fact that girls tend to be more aware of rules and how things should be...again, because mentally we expect males to break the rules more often...even as children "boys will be boys"...well, i know plenty of girls who can break the rules just as easily...

whether people agree with me or not, i can truthfully say that i have seen this over the last 10 years with children...it isnt just an off-hand opinion or thought...it is something that continues to grow...and it truly does concern me...

we are emasculating our men and boys...taking away a part of them that could lead them to be strong and powerful, and not just through physical force or arrogance...

cg

4 comments:

Aneris said...

Before? Before???

"before, women were told if you arent happy, too bad, so sad, this is your life, make the best of it...have babies, make your man happy, keep a clean house..."

My sweet, that is still now. Women with education and true financial options are all gung-ho to 'be all they can be" but once a woman has kids, and esp one who truly needs two incomes to pay bills...

As my Grandma says, " umm, where is she going with all those kids and how are they gonna live?"

We are a bit more aware of our happiness as planned, not fated.

As for our boys, my mantra is that strong parents make strong sons.
It is important to look after the emotional and physical health of our children.


I am not up in arms. I am saddened. (running off to sniffle and reflect.)

collegehookerboy said...

Yes, Aneris, what you say is true. Rich, priveldeged woman are loving the "new freedom" that women have. That is not the case with everyone else, nor in most other countries around the world.

I have always wanted to know what girls and boys would be like if they grew up in a society with NO gender stereotypes. Obviously men and women are physically different, so there must be some, albeit minor, differences in their phsycological makeup.

I just wonder...

mnwhr said...

I think that we don't know how to raise our sons and that instead we tend to "just let them be" I think that it takes a respect for differences of gender to raise either sex.

kanishk said...

good blog......

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