Wednesday, June 18, 2008

the readiness of chivalry

opening the door for a woman used to be something so commonplace...now it has become something cautious and hesitant...something that does not reflect a proper upbringing...women, in their fierce drive for indepence have seen fit to squelch this from a man's repertoire of skills...the two-year-old's mantra of "i can do it!" comes to mind....


in their joy to fly they have unknowingly stripped bits and pieces from the wings of man...feminists around the world, strike me now!...seriously, over the course of the last 100 years has the shape of man shifted and turned...the trappings of man are not what they once were...the ocean of women has thrashed upon the beaches of men whereupon they are left gasping for air wondering "what the hell did i do wrong?"


women become insulted when men open doors for them...the road to equality has been paved over the path to manhood...perhaps i am being a bit dramatic...with reason, though...while women have gained tremendous ground, men have become less...well, "manly" and become more, well..."womanly"....they do everything to their bodies that women do...there is very little that separates the men from the women anymore these days...

the readiness of chivalry, it seems, has succumbed to the whim of the woman...

cg

10 comments:

Aneris said...

Well of course, CG! As a very nice man explained to me, the more we can do for ourselves, the less men feel needed, so they do less.

It is very unfortunate that with the gains women have made, relationship matters were the things that had to be slain.

comfydildo said...

The modern chivalrous man lets his wife help him move furniture and doesn't right away assume she can't lift that couch, but offers help if he sees her struggling. He opens doors for her but manages not to make her feel like she can't do it on her own. He recognizes that when she's in a dress she wants him to be her knight in shining armor and when she's in jeans she doesn't.

Tom Allen said...

First, welcome to the world of multiple blogging ;-)

Second, this is a great essay. A lot of men do actually complain about the lack of direction they now have within their own culture. Being "too manly" is now cause for scorn, not praise, and they don't know what to do with that.

That, plus many of the "manly" jobs are now being done by women - great for women, but not great for men who are trying to stake out a little corner of the world for themselves.

Even most of the adult male fraternities (The Elks, for example) have opened their doors to women, turning the local lodges into family social clubs, instead of male hang-outs.

Is this a bad thing? I don't have an opinion on this because, frankly, I'm not sure.

curiousgirl said...

@aneris - i dont know if it is that they feel needed less, than it is that they lack a job description for an unnamed role...if that makes any sense...

@comfy - i see where you are coming from, but it sounds an awful lot like a "trained" man...not complaining, just my own note lol...

@tom - thanks for the wonderful compliment!...i wish that men could have things were just for men...women have so many things that are just for them...it is important for development of so many different things...we have to be able to nurture what makes us different in order to appreciate what makes us similar...

cg

comfydildo said...

I think that was the whole point you were getting at before. Men have to tiptoe around and cater to women more than ever when women claim that is exactly what they don't want. My line about dresses and shining knights was supposed to be sarcastic.

curiousgirl said...

@comfy - ah!...i must have missed that the first time, thanks for clearing it up!

cg

DnWormer said...

I get a good laugh hearing from men who claim they don't want to act chivalrous because they don't want to insult women. You do certain things (open doors, pull back chairs etc..) because you're celebrating her femininity. I'd rather be told by one particular woman that she does not appreciate it than stop doing those things for all women. And for the record i've not yet met a woman who was insulted by these things.

Aneris said...

Oh Dear CG! I share you with a thought that keeps me going:

A nun said that the more women do, the less men feel they must do. So, if there are to be any men in church, they had better keep certain roles for them, not because they are superior but because it is how they channel their energy. She said that if women totally take over the last bastion of maleness, men will just give up and we will have a church full of women. (We can talk about how all the maleness has screwed up the church in regards to the sexual abuse scandal later.)

Not that it is bad, or wrong. But that I think she has pointed out a part of human nature-namely, if you can do it, why should I?

Men may say that they have certain spaces but often they do not. Women have become social competitors now they they have the ability to make their daily bread and not have to be nice to get it brought home by a man.

You see my dilemma-I like a man that knows how to get a loaf of bread.

And Mnwhr--I have to chuckle, b/c I am always nice when a man behaves as a gentlemen but very nice when he is attractive. I have noticed that some guys are only holding doors b/c they want to initiate conversation. Now, that sucks. But otherwise, I agree most women are not too put out over a held-open door.

curiousgirl said...

@mnwhr - i love how you said that you do things for women to celebrate their femininity...that is perhaps one of the more perfect lines i have come across in a long while!

@aneris - my mother is dating this guy...she doesnt like him to knock on the door because she is never ready...so he drives up, sits in the passenger seat with a newspaper...he never rushes her...she walks out, he smiles, lets her sit down and closes the door (he always offers her the paper and she always says no)...it is the cutest thing...hehehe

cg

aka k said...

I'm a door-holder-opener, never been abused for it...yet.

The waiting in the car thing might be age related. way back I remember being extremely irritated at being left in the car while my SO "just popped in" to see see someone ("just popped in" could = half and hour). Nowadays, this does not bother me, especially if have a paper to read.