know your ABCs

when working with women, let us refresh our brains with a little course on Women In The Work Place...everyone ready??

A - antagonistic

women in the work place are notorious for their antagonism towards other females...in a striking study done by myself at my own work place, i was amazed at how the women lash out in subtle or not-so-subtle ways...whether they are threatened by another's performance or confidence or even if they are outraged that someone is getting away with something - women immediately pounce on the attack...the phrase "preemptive strike" originates here...dont wait until someone actually does something that directly influences you, oh no...be sure to smack that bitch down before she even has a clue what's coming...that way she knows the hierarchy of bitches...

B - bitch

all women in the work place are bitches...oh dont even try to say "but i know plenty of women who are good, hard-working blah blah blah" or "i am the nice one at work and i never get involved in that stuff"...*coughs* bullshit *coughs*....all women are bitches...some more so than others...but there are three main kinds (i like things to happen in threes...it is a nice number):

novice - she is the one that gets easily overwhelmed and, at times, will fall right into the melee without knowing what happened...she wants to stay focused at work but her ears pick up all the little bits of garbage here and there...she in no way could ever contend with the queen B and the queen B is hardly aware of her existence...but beware...sometimes the queen has a sharp eye and will attempt to bring the novice to her fold...

princess - she has it all...or so she thinks...she loves to talk...to the point that you almost wonder...who is she trying to convince?...her love life is pretty good and she will admit to having only the best things...she is very strong and sometimes people do not see her for what she is because of her happy smile and pleasant attitude...but...be very careful with this one...she is even more dangerous than the queen B because of she uses her charm to manipulate others...you are not to trust this little princess because she knows no loyalty but to herself...she will often place herself as a victim and can hide her identity with employers....when caught in a tangle with a queen B, however, she will bark and bite in self-defense...but in truth, she fears the queen B for her "intangibles"...she may aspire to queen status, but she has stepped on so many others that her reign will be precarious at best...

queen - she came forth from her mother's vagina hurling orders and making demands...she isnt necessarily unkind, but she knows what she wants...she has little time for the princess and the novice, but may take the time to rescue a novice if she feels the novice has "queen" potential...her morals are her own and are immovable...do not try to court her, princess, for you will get a very nasty sting...she watches the princess parade about and will, at times, remove her little tiara...but, generally, she has her own agenda...like all queens, some are honorable monarchs whilst others are power-hungry women intent on stepping on as many as it takes to get to the very top...however, all queens are susceptible to a coux...a well-planned take-over could have a queen out on her arse while the princess takes the crown...

C - control

what it all boils down to is - control...women enjoy feeling a certain amount of power and control at work...and when that control is threatened, then all sorts of lovely little problems form...what women fail to understand is this...you cannot control others...you can only control yourself...or maybe they understand that too well...

so, in conclusion...women are antagonistic bitches when they feel out of control or when feel they have no control...and yes, i am having bitch issues at work...the sad part is, they are dealing with a Queen who has little time for their display of foot-stamping and pathetic imitation of a woman wronged...shoo fly...don't bother me...

cg